Jesus is my Savior!

I'm alive and made it through finals!  This means that I have finished two quarters and have one quarter left before the end of sophomore year.  I can't believe how fast college is going.  I almost feel like it is going so fast that I am having a tough time embracing it!
I wanted to blog about this past quarter because I didn't blog much during the past 11 weeks.  This quarter was extremely difficult on so many levels.  Wish summer approaching, I put a lot of pressure on myself to look and be a certain way.  This really affected me this past quarter.  I began working out a lot as well as eating less.  This can be a good thing but I know my intentions and they were not right.  I got to the point where I pushed God away because He was not helping me to lose weight, and did it on my own.  Due to this, I became very sad.  I hung out with my friends still and went to church and such but I was not happy inside.  This was due to 2 things.  One was because I was not allowing God to work in my heart and make me a godly woman which I know I desire very much.  Two, I was unhappy with the way I looked and got upset with myself for looking this way.  The further I stepped away from God, the better I felt I had to look(to "make up" for my lacking godliness), which made me become more sad.  At the end of the quarter, I knew I was becoming more sad even though I was losing weight.  I did begin to get counseling which I am going to continue next quarter.  I become very sad as well at the idea that I don't have boys notice me.
I really need God.  Pushing God away brings everything I don't want.  I have no joy, no love and no peace.  This seems so basic to me but I just can't seem to get it right.  I know that I want to grow to become the woman who God has called me to be and this starts with Him.  Because this was such a big thing on my mind, I am thinking about not dating this next quarter.  That way, even if I want to go on a date, I have decided I am not going to do that.  I am going to spend this next quarter restoring my relationship with God.  I am going to exercise and train for the races I have planned but I am not going to focus on losing weight.  I am going to be focusing on my relationship with God.
He is my savior and He is my Father.  I need God more than anything and probably for the thousandth time in my life, He is teaching me that it is IMPOSSIBLE to live without Him!